What is it like being the wife of a doctor?
Well, it depends on where in the world you are and what your doctor other half is doing. For me, it’s learning how to be an adult on my own (I never lived away from my parents before getting engaged) and being OK being completely alone. I’m an only child, so I’ve had a ton of practice.
When I first moved out of my parents and in with my fiancé (now husband), he was working in a different city, 2 hours away. Now, I know this technically isn’t really that far, but this meant that I didn’t get to see him every day, sometimes I didn’t get to see him for almost 2 weeks if he was working weekends. This resulted in me learning how to live on my own for the first time which was actually really exciting. A couple months into living on my own, my other half’s new job rotation brought him to a city that was only a 50 minute drive away; this meant we could live together J. He would stay at this location for one year.
Fast forward to today.
Today, we have been married for almost two months. We are newlyweds, and both living alone; he moved out to that same city 2 hours away after just being married for 2 weeks. Sucks right? But such is life.
I ask the question again, what is it like being a doctor’s wife?
A quote I read a while back perfecty sums it up…
Yes, he’s working
No, I don’t know what time he’ll be home
Yes, we are still married
No, he’s not imaginary
I saw this on tumblr for an ‘Engineers wife’s’ t-shirt a while back, but thought it also applies to doctor’s significant other.
On a side note, there’s something I noticed growing up…
I noticed that there was this positive culture around woman dating doctors, especially in the media. I’ve never understood it and I’m not sure I fully will. Yes, his job is something to be admired but this culture often forgets about the other half, the other half that is left to hold the fort own their own!
Back in the day when I told my friends the guy I was dating was a medical student, I would be showered with responses of ‘oooohhhh’ ‘a future doctor, so cool’, ‘jackpot’! My response was typically ‘yeah’, ‘sure ok’, ‘cool’.
Our life at the moment is greeting each other on a Friday and saying see ya later on a Sunday. Every Sunday, I anxiously await for his text that says he’s arrived safely at his accommodation after his drive back. Let’s be real, I worry a lot and imagine scenarios in my head where he goes missing or gets into a horrific crash.
Now, before you think I’m being paranoid (which I totally am), crashes happen all the time…people die all the time on the roads so it stresses me out…I’ve even been involved in one major-ish collision myself…but that is a story for another time.
Long story short, I will always worry.
Luckily, he’s in his first year of specialist training so he has no on calls (aka doesn’t work weekends so fortunately, he can come home each weekend). Unluckily, this also means that he has received a massive pay cut. Oh well, that’s life.
Yes I know he will be back at the end of the 3 months, but having him for less than 48 hours per week is not enough, I want more. But you see, when he finally comes home, he will only be here for 3 months and then he is back out again for another 3 months, 2 hours away.
Now that we aren’t falling asleep and waking up next to each other, we have returned to our pre-living together messaging routines of good mornings and good nights. Alongside the little messages we send each other randomly throughout the day. It’s kind of nice, reminds me of when we were dating.
Now living alone isn’t all bad, it’s given me the opportunity to do more me things, like write more, have a binge Netflix spree and eat dinner whenever I want to. If I want porridge for dinner at 9pm? You damn well bet I’m having porridge for dinner at 9pm. To be fair, I still do this when he’s home, except the porridge would be a bedtime snack and not my dinner.
That’s the life of a doctor’s wife, at least sometimes…
Hope you enjoyed reading this!