Unspoken Joy’s Of Being An Only Child

Hello good people of the internet,

Before we start, I’m an only child. Shocking, or not—depending on your opinion.

When you’re out with new people and getting acquainted. The topic of family can and will eventually come up. When an only child reveals that he/she is an only child, the group goes silent. Someone may even giggle or say “well that explains a lot”.

How on earth do you react/behave to an only child!? I mean….”They’re not like us”.

Just to put your fears to rest. It’s OK, only children are part of the human species too. We are like you.

You know what, I think only children get a bad rap. Allegedly, we’re lonely, selfish, mean, unsociable and just—weird.

I disagree with these stereotypes based on the fact that these are personalty traits that anyone can possess, regardless of siblings or no siblings status.

I do sometimes wonder what its like having a sibling. What its like growing up with someone, or what kind of person I would be today if I had one; and by extension, what would my life look like?

When speaking about only children, the stereotype is to bring up the negatives. However, today, I’m going to talk to you about the positives (especially in this global climate where only children are on the rise).

10 positive things about being an only child – as told by an only child

1. You learn to be independent at a young age. When you’re outside in the world, or when your parents are not at home. It’s just you. You learn to take care of yourself as yourself is all you have.

2. You get your own room as a kid. If you like your own space, this is amazing. As a kid, some of my friends yearned for their own room as if was an unattainable dream.

3. Your parents have more ability to support you: financially, emotionally, and educationally.

4. Sociable and big appreciation for friends. Only children aren’t unsociable as some stereotypes claim. As a species, we are innately sociable, we crave contact with other humans. Only children just have to seek interaction with peers outside their immediate family. Further, when you do find good friends, they almost become emotional surrogate siblings. I attest that I don’t know what it feels like to have a sibling, but friends can be pretty close and as a result, I really appreciate their existence—they are one of the closest things I have to siblings.

To my friends reading this…. Thank you for existing.

5. You’re OK being alone and enjoy it. There comes a time in life when everyone must jump from the nest—alone. This can be daunting, especially if you’ve never done it alone. Only children have grown up spending tons of time alone. So moving out of your parents house isn’t that shocking. We’ve been conditioned to be OK with our own company.

6. Putting yourself out there. If only children want to do something, we can be OK going it alone. For example, joining new sports/societies alone isn’t too daunting, and we may not feel the need to have to have a buddy with you (although, a buddy is always nice). You never had a sibling to do things with you before!

7. You’re closer to your parents. You enjoy their company and it was always just the three of us—at least from the child’s perspective (I know, it used to be just the two of them).

8. You are your own champion. We stand up for ourselves. We don’t have siblings to stand with us or to stick up for us! Alternatively, we are excellent at self-soothing and being gentle with ourselves when we aren’t able to fight or just have to accept…well, life.

9. Happiness comes from within*. We rely on ourselves to be our own best-friend. This kind of relates to to points 1 and 8. When we need to be picked up from say…getting punch in the face by life…we can look up and see ourselves lending a hand. (Is that weird imagery?) Personally, I find I talk to myself out loud when trying to work through a problem—big or small. Someone once said to me, this is a sign of insanity or an only child.

*Not to say that people with siblings don’t also do this!

10. Big imagination. We spend a lot of time as a child playing alone. So we had to use our imagination to keep ourselves entertained. Never had an imaginary friend, but toys almost came alive when playing with them—I used to reenact scenes from cartoons with my toys and sometimes even go off script *le gasp*, or would just make stuff up (though, I’m sure loads of kids do this regardless of sibling status). Other than that, we can get lost in our imagination pretty easily. To the outside world this just looks like a blank stare; but trust me, there’s a lot going on behind those blank eyes. Big imagination translates well into adulthood too, we can usually find a way to keep ourselves entertained—especially when doing boring adult chores.

Are any you only children? If so, do you agree/disagree or want to add to the list?

What about you guys who have siblings—what’s that like

18 Comments Add yours

  1. ~Curiosity~ says:

    I relate to a lot of the positive things you described in this post. Absolutely agree anyone can possess the traits that are associated with the ‘only child’. I am not the only kid and my sibling is about 9 years younger than me so for those 9 years, I did feel like the only child and developed a lot of those positive traits.

    Only child or not, I believe if people are kind and self-aware/sufficient, there needs to be no judgement for other people!:) What do you think?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing :).

      That’s quite a big gap between you and your sibling, you have experienced both worlds! It sounds amazing

      Agreed, the traits and who you are/become are all down to the person :).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so funny because I’m also an only child!! I totally agree with this (for me, personally), though I will say that I’ve met some only children that freely admit to being needy and super dependent on their parents and others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! And lol, to those only children, I do respect their level of insight and honesty about themselves though!

      Also, yay, we’re both part of the the only child club 😀

      Like

  3. Katie Kuo says:

    This was so interesting to read, I have an older sibling but because of the age gap there were times during my childhood I’d spend a lot of time playing by myself, and other times where I’d spend lots of time with my sister.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words Katie :). Oohhhh, so you got to experience both, you are very blessed!

      Like

  4. Sophie says:

    I’m not an only child but my true best friend, my nan, was an only child and she was the most caring, open and sociable person I’ve ever known. She may have been an only child but she ended up having 6 children and grew her own big family. She always said that she would have liked a brother or a sister but I think she made up for that by having her own huge family and she was still singing and dancing with her singing group she belonged to well in to her 80s.
    This is a really interesting post. My nan would definitely relate to all of what you’ve said.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your Nan sounds like a super women having 6 babies. By the way you described her she sounds like someone we all wish to be best friends with :). Aww, I’m really happy to hear that you think your Nan would relate to what I wrote, it’s sweet and I really appreciate it, :).

      Like

  5. pamicdolls says:

    I am not an only child, I can not image ” being alone”. Now as an adult maybe this is why I don’t feel comfortable doing thing alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read! To be fair, most people don’t like trying things alone. I can do it, but I always prefer to go with someone.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Gemma says:

    I’m not an only child, but I believe I possess a lot of the qualities you have listed above. I reckon it depends a lot on how we are raised and genetics more than what siblings you have and in what order you arrived.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeees, definitely! !! These examples are totally down to personality and who you are. I’m glad you possess a lot of those qualities, you sound like a pretty awesome person 😀

      Like

  7. JenaPen says:

    I really appreciate this post! I have 3 siblings- 2 older brothers and a younger sister- so I couldn’t imagine being an older child! I often wished I was one at times lol. I’ve had a lot of friends who were the only child and it was never a big deal to me other than sleepovers at their house compared to mine were never bombarded with older brothers messing with us or a younger sister trying to be like us. Luckily my parents did an amazing job at teaching all of us how to be our own independent selves and never forced us to do something just because one of our siblings did. I guess the main difference is it can be nice to have a built in friend- that you’re forced to like and put up with because they’re your sibling 😝😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sleepovers! They were so exciting. You’re right, whenever I slept over at my friend’s house (who had siblings), it was basically a sleepover with friends and their siblings lol. Yeah, the built in friendship you can have with siblings is something I do wish I got to experience! A life long friendship! Thank you for taking the time to read and share your experiences, it’s really interesting for me to read :). Good job to your parents raising you with your own sense of independence, it must have been super busy with three kids!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. JenaPen says:

        I enjoyed reading thank you for sharing! And yes my poor parents ran around with us all the time. I don’t know how they did it!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Jackie R says:

    Yessss, I’m an only child too and couldn’t agree more with your points! I couldn’t imagine growing up with siblings — I really believe that I’m truly the independent, creative person I am because of my only-childness and I wouldn’t have it any other way haha!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay my only child sister! Ah I’m glad you can relate. Thank you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jackie R says:

        🙂 thank YOU for sharing!

        Liked by 1 person

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